I just came back from an amazing yoga experience. It wasn't a kundalini awakening or involving sage brush. In fact, it was one of the less overtly spiritual classes I've taken in a long time, but it was a full and beautiful expression of the teacher in her own, and as a result I found myself going there too.
There are some mornings that, despite our best intentions, we find ourselves (ahem, I find myself) 'on the wrong side of the bed'. I know what my brain wants, but my emotional state just won't agree. I state change and it goes back. Hurumph.
However, in today's class with Liv Bevan I found myself moving INTO that crotchetyness- exploring, embracing, without condescension compassionately honoring that truth, and low and behold RELEASE.
Time and again, this is the truth...
THE MORE WE RESIST OUR TRUTH (REALITY), THE STRONGER IT PUSHES INTO OUR AWARENESS.
So often we feel the first signs of weakness, of not knowing what to do next, uncertainty around the future, or a desire in your heart that your brain tells you is crazy so we suppress. We push all that amazing experience of self down, hoping it'll go away because we want it to be different.
Most of my life I've wanted to present myself as strong and truly put together. Sometimes that's just not the case. Some days I have been scared, my house a mess with a pimple on my chin- if I pretend it's otherwise I create a crack within myself, and my truth, my perfect imperfection will keep yelling at me, louder and louder until I listen. In my experience, this is where anxiety, stress, even depression come from- growing from the unwillingness to ACKNOWLEDGE THE PERFECTION OF YOURSELF, EXACTLY AS YOU ARE.
You may experience sadness, fear, uneasiness, and yet underneath it all is joy. Pure, blissful, unabashed joy. The more you experience yourself from the heart, the clearer your knowledge of self, and the more your plans become guides not rules. RELEASE THE RIDGID PLANNING AND STEP INTO THE REALITY OF LIFE IN THIS MOMENT- IN THAT RELEASE IS JOY.
Thank you Liv for reminding me of this so experientially today. In my crotchety perfection I came to feel the love that lies underneath when we open to our truth.
BY MOVING INTO FEELING WE MOVE THROUGH RESISTANCE... So the next time you're feeling stressed, or for those of you who don't sleep soundly- try moving INTO the feeling. Open up, and notice the RELEASE.
That release is the key to deep sleep, profound joy, and living a full and meaningful life of love.
May you feel your life and the love within it!